someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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