I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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