this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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