whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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