every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
