I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize