Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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