first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
