p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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