you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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