Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I think my moral compass just broke
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
