Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Randomize
