if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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