It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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