I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
