i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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