I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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