who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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