My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
