we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize