paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
