The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
