I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize