I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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