That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
