Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
