Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize