my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize