There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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