Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
