I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
