plz talk dirty to me
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
