Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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