i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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