he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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