i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
