just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
