i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize