i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
