I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The air taste purple.
Randomize
