walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
is that a dick in a sweater?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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