you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
