my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
