Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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