...so i touched it.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
