He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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