New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
