I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
