it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
