i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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