either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
