Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
this will be a night to untag.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
