is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
