jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
