I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
