Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
