WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize