i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i think my cat just said my name.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
