I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
