I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
