i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
