I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
