Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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