This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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