There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
