I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
